Talk with kids while walking

 

It is hard to talk to some kids when they are sedentary. You have to get them up and moving and suddenly the conversations, with some, begins to happen.

 

You can come up with all sorts of language techniques and ask open-ended questions and the like but what really helps to get kids communicating with you is to get them up and moving with you. This is super-effective with boys. Whether it is going for a walk or just doing some type of physical work around the house, you will find that with most kids their tongues will loosen when their hands and feet are busy.

 

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Do 3 out of 4 Australian parents smack their kids?

I was interested to hear in a 60 Minutes report on Sunday, 5th November that 3 out of 4 Australian parents use smacking as a discipline method. This doesn't ring true with other recent research and also anecdotal evidence.

From my experience Australian parents need little convincing that smacking is not a preffered method of managing children's behaviour. From time to time most parents certainly get frustrated and in the heat of the moment feel like smacking. But whether it is still seen as a legitimate discipline method of managing children's behaviour and is used as such I am not sure.

I am interested to hear your thoughts regarding this matter.

Is attachment parenting bad for kids?

Attachment parenting is a new parenting fad and its number of devotees are growing. This style of parenting places children at the centre of the mother-child relationship and flies in the face of how we have raised kids for thousands of years.

Attachment parenting means kids are breastfed until they choose to stop - four, five, six years of age. It doesn't matter. They stopped when they want - no weaning please.

Attachment parenting means kids are not nappy or potty-trained. Mothers do the toiletting not the kids. They poo and pee when and where they want.

Attachment parenting means that the child sleeps with his or her mother and dad is relegated to another room. Parents put their lives on hold.

For thousands of years we have raised kids to fit in with family or group norms. Healthy child-rearing is about children fitting in, rather than the other way around.

Developmentally kids are required to grow away from the parents. Attachment parenting stops them from separating and makes children helpless and dependent on parents.

Healthy families know a child's place in the person, partner and parenting triangle. When we put the person first (yes you do have a life) and the partner second(if you have a partner you nurture this relationship) we have the ideal conditions to be an effective parent. Attachment parenting denies the person a life of their own and places the mother-father relationship at the periphery rather than the centre of the family.

Attachment parenting reminds me of another child-centred fad - permissive parenting - that was similarly misguided and had disastrous results.

Your thoughts are welcome!

Michael Grose
www.parentingideas.com.au